Withholding the Truth
by Stuffiscool245
Summary: Ryan had suffered through an event based on his sexuality, so he's hidden it ever since. What happens when it slips and Jesse is one of the people who find out? And where is Ryan's father?Slash. Jesse and Ryan. *Over but didn't complete*
1. Chapter 1

Okay, the last story absolutely sucked. I knOw. So I took it down. This is a second attempt!

I don't own blah blah blah. Except for Clayton during the flashback. But he won't be round for long! ;)

Rated M because there is a bit of child abuse. Also is slash

P.S. Alexx never left and Jessie never dies

* * *

Ryan was gay. Nobody knew. It was just another secret he had to withhold from everyone. He thought, no he knew, everyone would disrespect him, think him as disgusting, and nobody would want to talk to him. He knew how gay cops were treated, how they were undermined. It'll never change. He has wanted to be a cop since he was 8 years old. That was the year his mother was murdered and her killer was arrested. It was killing just for the sake of killing. And he's lived without his mother ever since. Since then he's avoided everything that would get in the way of him and joining the police force. That's why he will never tell anyone of his sexuality. Ever. He already made that mistake. And it didn't really work out.

_He was sitting in his room when he heard a knock at the door. "Here we go" Ryan whispered to himself. It was his senior prom. He made the decision to come out of the closet to the public, not caring if it would affect his career. (Boy, was he being naive.) So he was going to prom with his boyfriend Clayton. When he heard the knock on the door, he was having second thoughts because he didn't want to lose Clay. His Dad didn't even want him going to Prom with a girl. So, coincidentally, his dad opened the door first, already with an unhappy attitude. _

_"Wrong house!" He nearly yelled when he saw the guy in the tux. He tried shutting the door, but Clay stopped it from shutting. _

_"Excuse me! I said wrong house!" Ryan's dad said, closer to yelling now. _

_"Actually, this is the right house, I'm here to pick up Ryan" Clay tried saying as brightly as possible. _

_"Where's his date? In the car?" Dad asked looking past Clay where his eyes landed on the small-sized limo. _

_"I'm his date" He said softly_

_It took his dad a few moments to fully understand what was going on. When he realized what the boy before him was saying, he was baffled. That was when Ryan came down the stairs and saw his father fuming. _

_"Well, dad, I see you've met my boyfriend Clay." Ryan said, desperately hoping nothing absolutely bad would happen. _

_"Really... Really? REALLY!" His was saying getting angrier with every word. Both Clay and Ryan were both undeniably frightened. _

_"Dad, I'm g-" _

_"NO! Don't you dare call yourself that! You aren't queer! Nobody in my family is gay!" Ryan's father yelled. Ryan was shaking slightly, and Clay just stood there. _

_"Well I am! And I'm going! Clay let's go!" Ryan yelled back, then running out the door. Halfway across the lawn, Ryan was pulled back by his dad and dragged inside. The door slammed shut and what Clay heard broke his heart. _

_Ryan was being beaten. _

_He heard the Ryan cry out in pain several times before he got up. He ran up to the door and tried opening it, but it was locked. _

_"Sir!" Clay yelled, hoping he would stop hurting his boyfriend. _

_Well, he did stop hurting Ryan, but when he opened the door, he started to punch Clay. Before he fell he saw a bloody Ryan laying on the floor. _

_Three hours later, Ryan woke up in a hospital and the first thing he saw made him smile. _

_Clay._

_"Hey. Please explain why we never made it to the limo" Ryan demanded in a pleading voice. _

_"Well, your dad, he was pretty furious, he... he beat you. I slammed on the door, he opened and punched me for a bit until your neighbour came and dragged him off of me. He called the cops and your dad was arrested." Clay explained to him. _

_"Wow." Ryan managed to say before he burst into tears. _

_"Ryan, I don't think we should do this anymore." Clay suddenly blurted out. _

_"What!" Ryan said jerking his head up to meet Clay's tear-filled eyes._

_"You being with me is putting you in danger at the hands of your father"_

_"No. No no no. Clay, he won't hurt me anymore, I can't lose you too, please." Ryan begged, breaking further down._

_"Goodbye." Clay whispered placing one last kiss on Ryan's lips. _

He loved Clay. Everything about him was wonderful. Hell, even the reason he broke up with him was so heroical. Yet, he missed him, he felt numb everytime he thought about his lost lover.

"You okay Ryan?"

Ryan jumped and looked up and saw Jesse standing there with a genuine smile on his face.

"Yeah. Fine." He shrugged

"Ha. Nice try. What's going on" Jesse asked, his face turning from happy to concerned.

"I was just thinking"

"About?"

"Stuff"

"What stuff?" Jesse urged too far as Ryan got kind of pissed off.

"Just stuff! Okay?" He barked, turning around and walking out of the locker room.

He didn't know what it was, but he really liked Jesse.

Whether it was his gorgeous smile or his beautiful smile, he just knew he liked him. It was probably the way he made everyone feel like they were important or wanted. He reminded Ryan of Clay. He knew he had to know for sure if Jesse was gay or at least bisexual. It was unlikely, but one can hope. Right?

He was walking into the ME's office to check how Alexx was doing on the latest vic. He was found in a Ferris wheel, holding a empty wine glass and a unlit cigarette in his mouth.

"Hey Alexx! What do you have?"

"Well," she started, handing a folder to Ryan,"look at this."

"Biocide, Germicide, and... Spermicide? Why was he drinking three types of poisons? And two barely effect him"

"That's your job baby, but do call me when you have an answer."

"Will do. Thanks." He turned to start walking out the door.

"Ryan?"

"Yeah?" He answered, looking at the medical examiner once again.

"Are you gay?"

"What!" He said, shocked. He wasn't expecting that. At all.

"Sweetheart, you can't hide anything from me! I'm hurt that you thought you had to!"

"First of all, yes I am gay. Second, I'm sorry. But I haven't told anytime so don't feel hurt."

"Okay. Now go do your job!"

"Yes ma'am! And don't tell anyone please?"

"Of course sweetie, of course." She smiled softly as she pointed her finger,"Now go."

When Alexx knew Ryan was out of earshot, she laughed to herself.

"Unless Jesse asks"

* * *

Thanks for reading!

Inconsistencies the words affect/effect,

the parentheses, probably bunch of grammar mistakes because no one has corrected but me

Again, thanks, and you reviewing would be nice!

~Stuff~


	2. You Had a Bad Day

two chapters in one daY. Im a bored person.

anyway, hoping people are enjoying?

* * *

Ryan had cried several hours. He couldn't believe what was happening. He couldn't believe that something this terrible would happen. It seemed like all of a sudden so many bad things have been put into his plate. It was true though. In the last 24 hours, he had received three tragic pieces of news. All of them will change the way he lives his life. Not only did Alexx break his trust and tell Jesse, but Jesse didn't act any differently towards him. It was driving him insane. And that was the _best _piece of news he had received all day.

24 HOURS EARLIER

HCREJAWTN

Jesse walked into the ME's office to see Ryan leaving. He couldn't help but smile at him. He was the hottest guy he had ever seen. Ryan was the guy that confirmed Jesse was bisexual. He walked in to see Alexx laughing to herself.

"What are you laughing at?" Jesse asked, smirking.

"Oh, nothing." She answered.

"So, before we get to the case, I have to ask you a tiny little eensy weensy favor."

"Of course you can ask! Doesn't mean I'll do it but you can ask!" She replied

"Can you figure out if Ryan likes guys?" This made Alexx smile more and laugh again. She then raised an eyebrow, clearly asking for an explanation.

"Yes Alexx. I sort of like Ryan." He said shrugging like it was no big deal. But Alexx was a girl, and Jesse didn't know why, but girls were always interested in the romantic lives of other people.

"Good! Because I already have found out!" She laughed again. Jesse's eyes widened on shock and surprise.

"There's no reason not telling me! So tell me!"

"Yes!"

"Yes?"

"Yes."

During that entire conversation, Ryan had been standing outside the door, unnoticed. He came back because he had left the fixer with the poison names on the table. When he heard that Jesse liked him, he should have felt relieved, or excited. He did at the moment. He also felt kind of angry that Alexx kept his secret for a only ten minutes before she told. A little sad too. Mostly just excited.

He lost every single shred of any feeling happy when he heard the news that came from Boston State Penitentiary.

His father had been released from prison.

He hoped that his father, (who he called William instead of 'dad' now) would never find him. That he would never know that his son head moved to Miami. He filled with panic and started to freak out. He couldn't go through with thAt again. It wasn't that bad last time, he couldn't imagine how bad it would be after he spent 14 years in lock-up.

He didn't realize he was shaking until he dropped the cigarette that was in the Ferris wheel vic's mouth in some kind of open liquid container.

"Ryan! No!"

"What!" He jumped and noticed what he did, "Dammit!"

"What did you just do? How did that happen?" His partner on the case, Calleigh, basically yelled at him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean- I'm sorry, mistake- sorry" He stuttered.

"Ryan! You are OCD! I know it may be rude to just mention, but you're one of the most meticulous people I know! What's going on? Are you okay?" Calleigh was confused at Ryan's action. With the lost look on his face and the 'pep-in-his-step' gone, but now the shakiness. Something was wrong.

"I'm fi-" He tried.

"Don't you dare give me that! I know you aren't fine!" Calleigh continued to yell.

"MY FATHER WAS REALEASED FROM PRISON! YOU HAPPY NOW CALLEIGH!" He screamed as loud as he could. He didn't care who heard. People were already listening to their conversation. Ryan stormed out of the room leaving Calleigh to stand there in shock. People were already whispering. Yet another rumour to spread across the lab.

Ryan didn't care where he was going. He just went somewhere. He went down the elevator and ran out the front doors. Jumping into the Hummer, he got a call.

* * *

"Calleigh, what is going on!" Eric demanded when he had overheard the yelling.

"I don't know Eric! He was acting all strange and lost, he even ruined a piece. Of evidence! I couldn't let that go!"

"So when you asked him! What did he say?"

"He told me his father was released from prison" She said calming down.

"What? Why was his father in prison? Why would he not tell us his father was in prison?"

"I'm asking the same questions!"

"I think I can be of some assistance you two." Horatio said walking into the hallway, joining the conversation.

"You know about Ryan's father?" Calleigh inquired, Veblen more confused.

"Indeed, for quite some time now, step into my office."

* * *

"Wolfe!" He answered, trying to hide the anger from his voice.

"Hey, it's Walter, get down here, I texted you the address. It's another homocide."

"On my way"

Nothing could have prepared him for what he had discovered. He walked into the house like it was just another crime scene. It was going to be a regular investigation. Like any other day, right? Wrong.

He was running up the stairs, actually excited to get another case. After his day, he wanted to drown himself in work. Little did he know, his day was about to get ten times worse than it already was.

"Hey Walter!" He greeted as he walked in. When he saw the body, he had a weird feeling that he vaguely recognised the body. It wasn't the first time it's happened, so he just let it go.

"Nice of you to show up!" Walter replied.

"Tom, what do you got?"

"Single stab wound to the chest, no signs of struggle. This guy had experience and he knew what he was doing." Tom explained pointing to the various parts of the body's body.

"So... Pre-meditated?" Walter asked.

"Yes. Walter the genius spots yet another intriguing case turner!" Ryan joked.

"Whatever. He got an I.D?" Walter continued the question asking, intentionally changeing the conversation.

"Yes. Yes he does." A new Texan-styled voice answered, walking into the room.

"Nice of you to join us Frank! So, what is this fellow's name?" It was Tom's turn to ask the questions.

"His neighbour identified him as one..."

TBC...

* * *

It's obvious who it is but I don't care. Hope you have enjoyed! I think that's all the main characters I'm including in the story except for Natalia.

I don't think Ryan and Jesse are going to be together until the end of the fatherly drama. See you chapter :) :)

~Stuff~


	3. Chapter of Various Things

A few notes:

Ryan's sudden attitude change happened because he loves to hang around Walter, but he wasn't completely happy, he still was a little grumpy.

HCREJAWTN means

Horatio, Calleigh, Ryan, Eric, Jesse, Alexx, Walter, Tom, Natali

Now, still no Natalia. I've decided to shove Calleigh and Eric's reaction to what Horatio says in this chapter.

Also, this story is set before "All Fall Down" so that entire thing will happen

Thanks to my new story followers!

You made this update happen sooner than it was going to.

Now on to the story...

* * *

"Pain in the ass. People did not like this guy." Frank told the rest.

"Any idea why?" Walter asked.

"He was gay."

"How do you know someone's gay and not even know there name?" Tom asked kind of angered towards the situation.

"So do you think this is a hate crime?" Ryan asked, directed at nobody.

"Could be." Frank answered.

"I have to get the body back to the morgue guys, give me a hand?" Tom asked everyone.

"Walter!" Frank and Ryan laughed simultaneously.

Ryan knew it was fogging to be a hard case. He hated all cases that were hate crimes towards gays. And it's not like he can show any emotion. He just had to sit tin the corner, crying on the inside. He desperately needed someone to listen, someone to help him, someone that could hold him in times of need. He just needed someone.

Maybe Alexx could help a little, but Ryan would draw the line at him crying and her holding him. That would be a little too awkward for him. Actually, anyone holding him is awkward for him. Ryan could make anything awkward.

He wanted Jesse.

Jesse liked him though! Ryan liked Jesse! Why wouldn't they get together? It was a matter of Ryan being weak, being a wimp. He didn't have the courage to come out of the closet. And he sure as hell wasn't going to keep their relationship a secret. That was a bad way to live and really risky.

But so was them not being together.

Ryan didn't know when he would be ready, but he wished he would be soon. He wanted Jesse so badly and he didn't want to wait anymore.

"Hey, how's your new case going?" Jesse asked Ryan in the locker room. Ryan looked up to face Jesse.

"A slow beginning. Like always." Ryan already didn't like this conversation. He felt awkward knowing they both liked each other.

"Well, I'm going out for a drink, wanna come?" Jesse offered.

"Um, not this time, I think I need my bed as early as possible today."

"Okay, maybe some other time"

"Definitely," Ryan smiled," see you tomorrow" Ryan said, turning to leave. Halfway across the room, he was shoved into the lockers a bit softly.

Before he could do anything, lips were on his, locked in a passionate kiss. It seemed to last forever, yet only a short time.

When they parted, Jesse smiled and stared into Ryan's eyes.

"How about that drink now?" Jesse asked once more.

"I'm sorry, I can't do this right now." Ryan stammered, running off.

Proving that Ryan was weak, he was a wimp.

He wasn't ready.

Finally, after a long drive, he got home. Walking in the door, he got a phone call.

"Please no more murder... Hello!" He greeted Walter.

"Hey, I just wanted you to know I just got an I.D. on our vic. His name is Clayton Daniels. Tomorrow we are going to notify his family."

No. He heard that wrong. Walter must have said Hayden Spaniel? Right?

"What is his mom's name?" Ryan asked.

"Um... Her name was...Michelle Daniels."

No. Clayton. That's why he vaguely recognised his face. His ex boyfriend that he still thought about every day was dead. Ryan dropped the phone and fell to his knees. He was gone. The last time he saw Clay was over ten years ago, but his death still overwhelmed him with sadness. He could hear Walter's hello over the phone, but they eventually stopped. Now just the sound if Ryan crying filled the Miami apartment.

Then he thought of his father. His father was released from prison and suddenly Clayton is dead. Was he in danger too? Would his own father go after him? Ryan didn't think so. But yet again, he never thought his father would have beat him up the first time.

He was devastated and he didn't want to think anymore. He just turned the tv. Not actually paying attention, but just welcoming the noise. Letting the sound occupy the room.

He soon drifted off into a dream world.

* * *

EARLIER...

"Horatio! What's going on with Ryan?" Calleigh urged.

"Please. Just sit down."

"H, just tell us!" Eric said, now terribly aggravated. Why was Horatio always so slow?

"Okay. Okay. First, you already know that Mr. Wolfe's father was recently released from jail. But why you ask?"

Horatio pulled out a folder and tossed it onto his desk, motioning for them to look.

Calleigh was first to look. She just thought she was looking at a beat up kid, but she didn't know why this was relevant. There were bruises on his face, arms, back, legs, and many other place. This boy had bra broken nose, arm, and three broken ribs.

"Horatio, how does this relate?" She asked.

"This boy is Ryan, when he was 18."

Their eyes widened in shock and Calleigh gasped at the horrendous news. She would have never thought that something this terrible happened. Poor Ryan.

"His dad did this?" Eric looked angry. You could tell he was mad at Ryan's dad for abusing his child.

"Yes. Mr. Wolfe's father did this too him."

"Why?" Calleigh demanded to know.

"That, I would prefer he tells you." Horatio pointed to the door. He was kicking them out of his office. They wanted more information, but they had no choice.

When they got out of the office, they turned to face each other. Both jaws dropped. They walked their separate ways, both in their own mindset.

* * *

BACK AT THE APARTMENT...

_Lips touched lips and hands moved all over. There was low grunt as the two men parted. They were sitting in a bedroom. His old bedroom. Clayton grabbed Ryan's hand and smiled._

_"What are you smiling about?" Ryan laughed, now smiling himself. _

_"Oh, nothing. Just thinking that I love you." Ryan's smile grew wider and he hit Clay in the arm. _

_"Damn you! I was going to say it first." _

_"So?" Clayton asked. _

_"I love you too" _

Ryan lifted his eyes open. Thinking about his dream, he smiled. That was exactly how the whole 'I love you' exchange went down. It always made him smile. It's the only time he has ever said those three words to anyone. It was a special memory.

There was a loud knock on the door and Ryan jumped up to answer it. When he answered Eric barged in, followed by Calleigh.

"Please come in!" Ryan sarcastically said," Can I get you anything?" He said when he saw them just standing there arms crossed.

"You can start by telling us why your dad beat you when you were eighteen!" Eric demanded.

Ryan instantly became angry, yet confused at how they knew.

"I don't see how it's your business!" He answered.

"We're your friends. That makes it our business." Calleigh argued.

"Well you won't be my friend after I tell you!" Ryan argued back voice louder than Calleigh's.

"I doubt that!" Eric yelled.

"Yeah! I don't think that we will react the way your father did." Calleigh reasoned.

"Okay. Sit down." Ryan ordered. What Calleigh had said was true. They couldn't do anything worse than his dad did.

Ryan explained to them the entire senior prom Clayton story, smiling when he mentioned how awesome Clay looked. By the end, he was depressed all over again, the story just reminded him that Clay was gone.

Calleigh had gasped a few times and Eric just looked sternly at Ryan the entire story. When he finished, a few awkward moments passed before Eric spoke.

"So what are you saying exactly?"

"I'm saying, that my father beat me up because I'm gay."

* * *

I don't like how this chapter was written. I never intended for that kiss to happen. It just did. No reviews yet!? :( But thanks to those who followed! Thats more than enough. See ya all next time!

~Stuff~


	4. Secrets and Surprises

Wow did i get a lot of attention last chapter. Thanks to everyone who is following the story and to those who reviewed! Greatly appreciated and I hope this chapter is as good as the last one!

* * *

Silence. Dead silence. That's all Ryan received from Calleigh and Eric after he told them his secrets. He was hoping for anything but silence. It was just awkward for a what seemed like forever. So, Ryan did what anyone would have done (not really) and he left. He just left his own apartment. While he was leaving, Eric and Calleigh were still silent. The look on Eric's face was indescribable, while Calleigh had a look filled with sorrowful pity. He didn't know where he was going, he just wanted to be long ways from other people. Everyone lately seemed so annoying because they keep asking questions. Questions that Ryan didn't want to answer.

Because they reminded him of the past.

And everytime he thinks of that night, he thinks of Clayton, and when he thinks of Clayton, he thinks of his death. _He just didn't_ _want to think anymore. _Whenever his mind wandered, it just kept deepining the hole of emotions Ryan was trapped in. And he wanted nothing more than to jusghoul out. To just be free of all emotions. To no longer feel the sadness of what's going on around him.

It was just too much to ask of the world around him. Of course, the world will forever be filled with constant depressions and anger. _I'm being too bitchy, _Ryan thought, _everything isn't that bad, _he tried to convince himself. With all the events surrounding him, he could not help but feel utterly helpless. He didn't want anyone to know, yet everyone found out.

But how?

He did of course tell Alexx about him being gay, but who in the lab knows about his father? And where the hell was his father? He was out of prison and Ryan was assuming he wanted to see Ryan. Unless his father actually doesn't know he's in Miami. But then who killed Clay? He had to admit, he did think that his father had something to do with Clay's death. So he naturally thought that if he could find Clay in Miami, he could find him. But there's also the chance that his father didn't kill him.

Ryan was killing himself with his thought. He was driving. Just going for a ride. A really long ride.

* * *

"What the hell just happened?" Calleigh rhetorically asked.

"Well, we just figured out one of our coworkers is a _fag_." He answered, his indescribable face now one of disgust. Ryan was righti the was disgusted.

"Eric!"

"What! He is one! Its wrong and I don't think I want to work with him!" He yelled facing her now.

"And I don't think I want to work with your judgemental ass!" Stalking out, she turned to face Eric again," I would have never thought you would say such things, I'm so disappointed Eric."

Disappointed. God did Eric hate that word. What Calleigh was saying made him hate Ryan even more. First, he's a queer and now he's messing up his relationship with Calleigh.

Clenching his fists, he walked out.

* * *

Why and how did he end up here? Of all the place in Miami he just had to wander here and knock on the door. Of Jesse's home. He hadn't realised that he'd been there until the door opened, showing Jesse's face.

"Ryan? What're you doing here?" He asked.

"Umm, I don't know actually, I was driving and I ended up here" He said kind of embarrassed that he sub consciously showed up on his doorstep.

"What happened?" Jesse asked, now realising something was wrong.

"Can I come in?" Ryan guiltily asked.

Jesse seemed a bit reluctant, but he nodded. Walking inside, Ryan couldn't help but feel a bit bette. Just having Jesse in his presence made his spirits lift.

Boy, was he in for a surprise.

"Sit down. Can I get you anything?" Jesse was saying.

"No, I'm great, thanks." Ryan answered, now really agitated.

Jesse sat down next to him and looked into his eyes. Ryan, of course, melted.

"Ryan, what happened?"

"Umm...well.." He started, instantly feeling awkward," Calleigh and Eric came over to my apartment and started asking all these questions and..." He trailed off.

All the emotions hovering over him finally became too much and he broke down. Right there. Right in front of Jesse. Who put a comforting hand on Ryan's knee. And yes, it did comfort him.

Until he heard the crash.

Just a simple little crash coming from the back room, but it made Ryan jump nevertheless.

"What was that?" Ryan asked.

Jesse looked slightly uncomfortable and nervous, but not enough to where anyone except a CSI would notice. "I don't know, probably just my cat" Jesse lied.

"Jesse! Why are you lying?"

"What do you mean?" Jesse asked, trying to look as innocent as possible.

"Jesse, you're allergic to cats"

Ryan got up as Jesse cursed under his breath, and walked over to the room. Opening the door, his eyes grew wide in shock as he saw a half-naked Natalia standing in the middle of the room.

"Ryan!" She gasped.

"Natalia?" _Natalia. Of course. _Of course, the one time he wants comfort from someone, he interrupts their sex.

"I'm so sorry! Leaving!" Ryan apologised, turning and bolting for the door. He saw Jesse standing at the end of the hallway.

"Ryan..." He murmured softly.

"Jesse. There's no need to explain." He said, out of Natalia's range of hearing,"See you both at work!" He said, then he left.

"What was that all about? Why was here?" Natalia asked.

"I don't know" he blatantly lied, clearly knowing exactly why Ryan had chosen to come here of all places. Man had he screwed up.

He was so embarrassed. Ryan had gone there for help and it just made things so much worse. He wanted to drive off a cliff. Why did Natalia have to be there. Ryan was having a good old time. Just sitting there, Jesse touching him, _on the knee. _No, of course she was there. Why wouldn't she be? Everything else in his life is going terribly wrong. So what if another part was messed up?

So much for help.

* * *

"So you're still gay, huh? I'm sorry for that" A mystery voice was saying to himself. He was looking into Jesse's house. Watching the entire thing. Seeing the guy put a hand on his sons knee, watching as Ryan walked in on that woman, and watching Ryan cry was the best part.

He cracked a smile and laughed. When he gets Ryan's attention. Everything will be better. Everything will finally be the way it should be. All those years in prison taught him a few things. And one of them, was to never be yourself.

Poor little Clayton figured that out the hard way. Hell, he wasn't even the one who killed him. He never got the chance to. But he's dead, so it doesn't matter. What does matter is him getting his son back.

No matter what it takes.

* * *

How's that for Natalia's introduction to the story! I'm sad that I'm too lazy to fit Walter into this chapter. I kind of wanted him in it. I hope this chapter is just as good as the other ones. I think it is. Except for the last scene, it was a little iffy.

See you all at chapter five!

~Stuff~


	5. Family Affairs

For those who enjoy this story. I'm sorry for the wait. I was in a musical called Fame and it took all my time. But I'm back! Enjoy this chapter because the wait for #6 may be long because I have no clue where I'm taking this story anymore.

To gypsymooneygirl7733: Jesse is having sex with Natalia because he feels like he can never have Ryan and he's feeling lonely and rejected after the kiss.

Now. Enjoy.

Today was not a good day.

In the last week, he had been thrown back in forth between humiliation and depression. All of it had to be circling around the people at his workplace. Ryan tried as hard as he could to avoid almost every single face.

Eric thought he was disgusting.

Calleigh tried to "help"

Jesse was confusing as hell.

Natalia was just a plain bitch.

And Alexx and Horatio spilled secrets.

He desperately needed to get away. Maybe go on a vacation with no one but himself. Focus on the positives of life. What was he kidding? There are no positives in his life.

So, Ryan did what he did best. He smiled and did his job. He closed three whole cases until another drama bomb hit.

"Mr. Wolfe I have some news."

Surprisingly, when Ryan looked up, Horatio wasn't the one standing there.

"Ryan, you probably don't remember who I am, but I for sure know who you are!" The lady said with a beaming smile, but Ryan noticed a lost, sorrow look in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I don't remember who you are." He answered.

"I'm Clayton's mom, Michelle."

Ryan heart sunk and he just stared into dead lover's mom's eyes.

"I know you are probably shocked right now, but, I wanted to ask of you a favor."

"Of course." He said softly, his mind flashing back to all the memories he had of Michelle.

He couldn't say no to her never-ending sweetness.

"I have to go back to Boston to take care of the rest of the family, so could you be ever so kind as to arrange the rest of the funeral?" She had so much hope, and need that Ryan had no choice but to...

"I'll try."

"Thank you so much!" She exclaimed, hugging him very tightly.

When she left a few minutes later, Ryan's smile vanished and he instantly became worried. How is he going to do this? He's been so crushed over his lover's untimely death. Now he had to plan the funeral?

Great. Just another curveball thrown his way.

Three hours later he was sitting on his couch. Thinking about what he was going to do about the funeral.

As he thought about it more, what he was doing became clear. He was planning a party for the man he loved. But it was for his death.

There was a soft knock at the door and until then Ryan hadn't noticed he had been crying. He wiped his eyes and opened the door.

He opened the door to darkness.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"I don't know. I just, needed to know something." An incredibly annoying female voice said.

Natalia barged in and say on the couch. Right in his spot.

God was she annoying.

"Needed to know what?"

"It's about what happened the other day, at Jesse's. Well, I just was wondering why you were there."

After a moment contemplating whether or not she deserved to know.

"Why not? Well I'll make it simple, I'm gay, my father wants to kill me, I have to plan my dead lover's funeral. And I'm in love with a co-worker who you just had sex with" He didn't know why, but he was smiling a huge smile and it felt so good to just let out a his problems.

"Well, I can tell you one thing." She said, obviously reluctant.

"And what is that?"

"We didn't have sex."

He let out an angry laugh. "Obviously"

"We didn't!"

"Give me a good reason why I should believe you!" Ryan yelled.

"Because. Siblings don't sleep together." She finally said.

Ryan was speechless. Since when were they brother and sister? They don't look alike at all. Why can't he have a normal life without all this drama? His life is like a soap opera. Over-dramatic, depressing, and full of tragedy.

"I'm going to go now." Natalia said when she realised Ryan was no longer speaking.

Ryan was no longer going to accept this drama. He needs to be happy for once and the only way to do that is to accept Jesse into his life.

Smiling, he grabbed his keys and ran out. He was thinking the next few hours were going to be great.

Wrong. Again.

More than halfway there, he pulled over and went over what he was going to say. After a few minutes of rehearsing things like 'sorry about after the kiss' and 'I need your love in my so-called life' he went to start the car.

He never got the chance to start the car.

Before he could react to the window being punched in, he was covered in cuts and no longer able to fight.

He sat and accepted his fate.

Why wouldn't this be happening, right?

* * *

While Ryan was being accepted into a world of hurt, the rest of the gang were having a good ol' time at a bar.

"Hey, where's Ryan?" Calleigh asked, looking around the table to see everyone, but Ryan.

"Why do you have to bring up that loser and totally ruin this entire meal?" Eric asked, a little too angry.

"Eric, you're being ridiculous."

"Calleigh, all I'm saying is that I want to have a nice night out without any mention of a faggot."

"Eric, I do believe what you are saying is a bit harsh, don't you think?" Horatio cut in.

"H, don't try and talk me out of hating him, if I can even call Ryan a him."

"Eric! There's no need to dis Ryan like this!" It was Walter's turn to cut in this time.

"You all are so stupid! Why can't you see how nasty Ryan is for living like that!" He raised his voice.

"Why can't you see that you're an ass!" Calleigh yelled, matching Eric's voice.

Eric stood up and walked out of the bar, ignoring all the looks.

"I think we should call it a night." Tom pitched standing and putting a twenty dollar bill on the table.

Everyone left one by one, but Calleigh stayed behind the longest. Wondering what she was going to do with Eric. Why can't he be more tolerant. Maybe it takes time. Who was she kidding? Eric was as intolerant as a four year old.

She didn't know what she was going to do, but she knew it was going to cost her one of her closest friends.

Picking up his cell phone, he dialed Ryan's number. Straight to voice mail.

"Hey man, it's Walter, how long are you going to stay MIA? We need to talk man." Walter was disappointed that his best friend wouldn't share such a big part of his life. It made him feel untrusted, unworthy.

"Walter, are you okay?" Jesse came up from behind. Guess he's walking home too.

"Yeah, it's just, I wish Ryan didn't feel like he had to lie to me."

"Well, with news like this, he probably feared everyone would react the same way Eric is." He said in that soft tone he always used when talking to Ryan.

"Maybe you're right. Anyways, how are things going with that mystery person that you aren't going to tell me who it is?"

"Not going well... Something happened the other day, and I just can't seem to get a hold of him." Jesse replied, not meaning to say the word him.

"By him, you mean Ryan, don't you?" Walter said, no longer walking.

Jesse stopped as well and noticed that he had said 'him'. "Yes. Yes I do."

"Great," he said smiling," I'm happy for you. And when you do get a hold of him. Tell him to call me will ya?"

"Sure Walter. I will." Both men giving one last smile, they parted ways and went home.

Pain. Agony. Agonising pain.

That's exactly what Ryan was going through. And that's only the emotional part of it. He still didn't know who, but someone had kidnapped him. Someone who strongly disliked him.

With his life hanging in the balance, only his father came into his mind.

* * *

Ummm... I apologise in advance for the letdown. A long wait for this? Sorry. I have a couple of new ideas after writing this chapter, but nothing too significant.

As you can see, I am portraying everyone a lot differently than they would be in the actual show. Natalia and Jesse are siblings now. Who would have guessed? Not me.

See you at chapter 6

~Stuff~


	6. Mysteries and Master Plans

Hey...what's up?...

Enjoy... (Sorry for the wait...)

I don't know what has happened, but I hope this chapter is up to par with the rest of them.

Michelle had been receiving call after call about her now dead son's funeral. When she clearly remembered asking Ryan to do it for her. She completely lied about having to take care of family. She had "other" things to do. The type of things that nobody needed to know.

In fact, she didn't even go to Boston, she's still in Miami. Doing those "other" things.

Half a week went by with no Ryan. And ironically, the only person who noticed his absence, was the one person who hated his guts. Eric walked around fully aware that Ryan was nowhere to be found, yet he told no one.

So when it comes down to it. All of his friends had no idea of the pain Ryan was going through. The agony his father was putting him through, with his unexpected, but welcomed partner.

"Welcome back" William said to his new fiancé, Michelle.

"Did you miss me?" Michelle asked.

"Of course sweetie. You had to miss our child getting punched for the first time. He didn't take it well."

"Ooh! Let me watch!" Michelle was getting excited because she wanted to see Ryan's face when he realises who she really is.

"Hey son, there's a special guest here. Meet your new soon-to-be mom."

Ryan didn't move.

"Son! I said there's a guest. Sit up straight!"

Ryan didn't flinch.

"I'm so sorry Michelle, he never acts like this." William whispered as he walked over to Ryan. Ryan looked up when he heard the name Michelle. Just in time to receive a fist in his face. Michelle jumped with glee as Ryan received three more punches.

"I'll be right back with a surprise" William said, directed to both of the other members in the room.

"You bitch." Ryan mumbled to Michelle. He genuinely thought she was such a nice person. That his faith on humanity had been restored after working so many gruesome murders. But she had to go crazy and fuck his dad.

"I'm so sorry Ryan. But this has to be done. You deserve every bit of this." Ryan noticed her voice to sound creepy mother-like, despite what she was saying.

"You ruined my son's life. You're the reason he's dead. And for that, I feel that this is in order." And she kicked him right in the crotch.

Ryan yelped with pain. Michelle laughed hysterically out loud and William waked back in. This time with a knife.

He walked over to his son's body which was slouched over again. And for that, Ryan received another punch. Michelle sat down to watch and smiled. Oh was she enjoying this.

William put the knife against Ryan's neck and said, "Explain."

"Explain what?" He asked with annoyance.

"Explain what it was like for you in high school."

Ryan just looked up with a weird look on his face. Why was he asking that question. One minute he's being abused an the next, he's being ordered to talk about his feelings. What the hell was going on?

"Why?" He asked.

"Because I said so. Don't talk back to me son, just do it."

So he did...

"What I went through? You want to know what it was like?o Living each and every day as a lie. Hiding my emotions while others showcase them for the world to see. Face to face with my best friend, but I couldn't be Myself. I walked down the halls, just like everyone else, smiling, saying "hi" to my supposed friend. But the entire time they didn't know who I really was.

You would never understand because you don't know what it's like. Because you were allowed to be yourself. You were allowed to open up. All the while I sat And listened. I guess you could call me fake, but I say insecure. Because sometimes I wonder who or what was to them. There was the funny one, the smart, the beautiful and the talented one. But who was I?

It git difficult not telling you anything. Sulking in the shadows. In all honesty I could've said I had no friends. Because those people who talked to me. Could of very well hated me, even though they didn't know me. I tried. I tried opening up to you. But, in the end, it just drove me deeper into a pit of emotional turmoil. But why? For what? Hope that one day I was going to receive acceptance, someone would pat me on the back and say "thanks for being you."

I desperately waited for that time to come. But with every passing day, I grew more doubts and the significance of the acceptance got higher and the less hope I had. You're probably wondering why I constantly drown myself in my own thoughts. It started because I simply fell in love...

But with the wrong person.

And dad. You made it hell."

* * *

Another week passed as Ryan received only punches. Nothing escalated with the knife. And people started to realise Ryan was nowhere to be found. It started when Walter was supposed to Ryan at a crime scene with Alexx, but he never came. Another two days passed and Alexx got more and more worried.

Because her baby was missing.

"Horatio, what're we going to do?" She asked him when he clearly was doing nothing.

"Nothing" she was right.

"Well we can't sit and do nothing!" Calleigh argued.

"Well that's what we're going to do. You guys are friends with Ryan. That makes the case personal. And we can't have that. I'm sorry."

Calleigh and Alexx both opened their mouthes to argue, but they both closed them. It was no use. Horatio was right.

* * *

"Jesse! What the hell are doing in there?" Natalia asked her brother and new roommate.

"I'm in love with a man that's missing and I haven't had sex since I moved back here! What do you think I'm doing?" He yelled back.

"Ew! Gross. How am I supposed to shower now? And don't think I didn't notice that you admitted to loving Ryan."

"Dammit." He muttered.

Five minutes later, he was out of the shower with a towel around his waist, his stomach in full view. He walked into the kitchen and opened some cupboards, got some coffee, and turned around.

Only to drop the coffee on the floor.

There was a man standing in his living room. And he was covered in dirt. Dried blood all over his hands and face. Was he... Checking Jesse out?

"Excuse me. Who are you?" He asked the mystery man with caution.

"Help me." The man managed to say before he fainted onto the nearby sofa.

Jesse stood confused as Natalia walked in and saw the man on the couch.

"I don't know" he said when she looked at him.

"Wait until he wakes up. Then we will see who he is. He doesn't look armed. Just homeless." Jesse said out of pity.

"And I think he was checking me out." He added.

"Tone your ego Mr. Has-no-towel-on." She laughed as she walked out the door.

He looked down and realised his towel had fallen off. The man was probably just wondering why he was naked in his kitchen.

And he was hard again.

Only one thing to do with that...

* * *

This story is all over the place... I still have no idea what's going on and I really am enjoying writing Michelle's character. Try to guess who the mystery man is and why he's there!

Again, I apologise for those who follow and waited 27 days for this. Ill see you all at chapter 7

~Stuff~


	7. Abrupt ending No motivation

Since it seems that no likes the story. It has oficcially ended. I may bring it back it in a while. Sorry to those few who read this far. There just isn't enough motivation.


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